Tuesday, November 10, 2009

For a number of years now I've thought Halloween/Samhain/Dia de Los Muertos was going to end up being a no family, quiet affair only to have family and visitors and fun all fall into place at the last minute. That happens a lot and I've come to depend on a "wait and see" attitude towards the way I want holidays or events or trips or even just afternoons to progress. Things usually have a way of coming together in the end if I do what I can to nudge things along and keep an open-to-possibilities attitude. Sometimes what comes together is what I wanted all along, sometimes it's something new and wondrous that I couldn't have experienced if I'd tried to plan it because it's not anything I could have thought to plan.

This year, again, it seemed like no one was going to visit and as October progressed I decided to stop fretting and simply enjoy each holiday activity for it's own pleasure, whether I shared that pleasure with others or for myself alone - whether it was the first cup of pumpkin spice tea or a walk under colorful fall foliage - and not worry too far ahead about the holidays themselves. I reminded myself to enjoy the season as it unfolded instead of putting too much emphasis on any one day or event. Ultimately I did enjoy the whole month and the culmination of the holidays were undoubtedly, unexpectedly full with plans, travel, and activities I could never have anticipated. I'm only mildly bummed that I only managed to drag out one box of Halloween decorations and that I only set up a few things.

On to the next holiday season -

The coming winter holidays will be very different for our family this year than from past years. The traditional activities and date markers won't apply, we won't be all together at one time but instead the three of us (myself, hubby, remaining teen) will be hopping from place to place spending separate time with each of our childrren and their families. It will all be new and uncharted territory. Much of it won't happen in my home. I plan on approaching it all with the same "enjoy the season not the day" attitude.

Free Cartoons Wallpaper :Christmas - Tea Party

Still, along with the "be open to new possibilities" attitude, there has to be some planning of activities. Looking back on October, I'm happy with it for the most part, but I never truly did the decorating I wanted. I don't know why it didn't happen. Things just got in the way. No one else seemed to care (or help). I think activities and events took priority over decorating, including harvesting and football. Now I'm looking ahead to that stretch from Thanksgiving through New Years and wondering, with no big family gathering planned for our house, how will I approach decorating when it's really all for me?


Well, all for me and Hubby and teen William. But I'm the only one making it happen. I've had enthusiastic drag-out-the-boxes teen sons. William, the one remaining at home kid, is not one of them. I'm not sure if he even cares about decorations. I know Hubby enjoys the decorations - the seeing them part though, not the putting them up part.

So, without a big family to decorate for, what kind of decorating do I want to do? How much? I don't have any little kids, even the grandkids won't be here for the most part, to inspire me or compel me to put up a tree or bake cookies. I don't have a single family gathering to string garlands or clean house for. Since no one else will decorate or even help (unless pressed, grumbling, to do so), how much do I care about decorating, in relation to all the other holiday activities that will vie for my time and attention?


Do I want to decorate with my traditional boxes of stuff or do something different because I can? Since we won't, for the most part, be doing any of the activities we've traditionally done in the past, this is a year where I'm having to reinvent the holidays. This opens up lots of new possibilities but it also doesn't give me the structure that in years past have helped guide me. I could just muddle through or I could take things by the reins and go in a new direction, a direction that could be more meaningful to me than just "taking it as it comes". Although, taking things as they come often work out quite nicely. Hmmm. And sometimes taking things as they come, I end up looking back and wishing I'd taken more control.

It just occurred to me that maybe I worry about the decorating so much because I come from a family of BIG decorators. Obviously it's about activities or gatherings as well. We certainly have our share of family activities and gatherings, but the gathering bit was constantly in flux. Fun, but in flux. The one constant that the holidays revolved around for me was the decorating. Perhaps that's why it matters so much to me. Maybe it's not really about the decorating at all, maybe it's about bigger meanings and smaller rituals, not the ribbons and bows. Maybe it's not about decorating or not decorating that's bothering me at all. Maybe it's about, once again, reinventing the meaning of the holiday season. And maybe I already knew that. Hmmm. Thanks, me, for talking this out with myself (and hehe, with you guys too. Thanks for listening.)

So, first things first. I can't really even consider decorating - how much, what style, how soon, what purpose - until I tackle some serious cleaning and decluttering. AGAIN. I'd made big strides this year but I look around the house now and wonder where those strides disappeared to cuz, the house is obviously out of control once more! (I think because I feel the clock ticking on the last child leaving for college and I'm waiting to do some major rearranging - so everything already feels "temporary" once more).


So sit down. Have a cup of cocoa. And tell me - What sort of holiday decorating strategy (or none) do you use?


mermaiden said...

my mom is a crazy decorating enthusiast. so is my husband's mom.

my 2 year old is a deconstructor. we can't put up any decorations this year. i have actually had to take down my every day decor because he tears it all apart.

maybe we'll have a tree *next* year!

Shell said...

I always decorate my home for the seasons just for me. My friends and my family like it. I do it for my own pleasure and to make me happy.
I say decorate in the way which fills you with happiness and joy.

Connie Carpenter Macko said...

the first year I moved in with my husband and MIL 5 years ago I realized that all my Christmas decorations were in the BACK of the 10x30 storage unit my things were in. I wept for days. Still haven't seen them. Christmas has been "ruined" ever since. that is so wrong. This year I am going to try not to be all whining and suffering and such. We'll see...

KayEllen said...

Stopped by to say~~~
Happy Thanksgiving!!
Have a blessed day :)