Friday, February 10, 2006

I'm hear to announce that I've.....

No, not created anything. I tried. But if you read my general blog, you'll see that I wasn't feeling particularly creative. In fact, if you read my other blog you'd probably tip toe away quietly now before I have the chance to bite your head off. Yeah, one of those days.

But, I'm trying not to bring my bad mood over here to the studio. Instead, I just wanted to report that I managed to clean up my studio the other day. Yep. I am now the proud owner of SEVERAL clear surfaces. Even better - they're flat, horizontal, WORK surfaces. Now clear. Amazing, heady stuff.

Of course all that work was pretty exhausting. So I took a break before planning on coming back to the studio later that evening to start on a new project, or keep going on a WIP, or whatever. The world was my oyster. (The world was my oyster? Does that work here? Hmmm. Somehow now that entire saying doesn't make sense to me. But I felt compelled to add it there, so I'll leave it and see if it works for anyone else.)

Unfortunately during the aforementioned break, someone, who I happen to be married to, who shall remain nameless, performed a SHT. That stands for Stupid Husband Trick. It was, as SHT's go, a moderately sized one, but there were some decent fireworks immediately following. Mostly the S kind - slammed doors, simmering silences, sarcastic retorts, sorries (fake ones - the kind that really mean "just go away"), stomping off. Anyhoo, I did go back to the studio that evening, mainly because the studio was where that other person WASN'T. Did I then proceed to create anything? No. I sat in a chair in front of the television and tried unsuccessfully to PICK a project. I spent several hours trying to PICK a project. I couldn't even PICK a channel, much less a project.

Not only did I have trouble picking a project to work on, I felt guilty at the thought of working on a project while I was obviously channeling such negative energy. I always feel if I work on something while I'm in a negative state, that I will then trap that negative in the finished project. I don't feel like this about ALL work. In fact, some projects are the perfect way to work off negative steam. Cleaning house while in a bad mood, great. Pulling weeds - even better. I don't think that the end result of that work, a more orderly house or a tidier garden, will hold my negative energy. Maybe because those projects are about getting rid of, removing (mess/weeds/negative energy). While something like knitting or sewing or baking... those are adding TO jobs, creating jobs, and so using negative energy to do them, it feels like I'm adding the negative TO them instead of using the negative energy up in the process. Sorta like the idea of working with moon energy - the waxing moon works for adding to, the waning moon for reducing - that's obviously a simplified definition. But hopefully you get the idea of what I'm saying. I think of my positive and negative moods in the same way, that there are ways to work with either of them, and jobs or projects that lend themselves more to one energy then the other. I haven't really tried to explain it to anyone before this. Do other people have this sort of matching up of jobs and energies?

So, nothing more to announce. But, at least I have those amazingly rare clear work surfaces. So when I'm done being too annoyed to create (imagine me flinging my arm over my forehead and sighing in true drama queen fashion), I'll be all ready to go.

Of course I still have to pick a project. Sigh.

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