Thursday, February 26, 2009

I've been meaning to pull a new faerie card for a couple of weeks now. Tonight I decided I wouldn't put it off a day longer. Maybe it was the new moon energy in the air. I pulled my Faeries' Oracle cards out of their box (y'know, I just realized I should probably make a bag to hold them in instead of the commercial box they came in) and took a general look through the cards. I divided them in half and on the first attempt to shuffle them a single card literally flew out of the deck, did a graceful flip, and landed on the couch next to me. Okay then. I guess the faeries knew exactly which card then wanted me to pick!

Card No. 6 - The Singer of Connection

I won't copy the reading here as it's a bit long and convoluted. You can go here if you'd like to read the short starter reading. Instead I'll tell you that the part that struck me the most was that it's a card of seeming contradiction. It talks about the importance of both reconnecting and of letting go. Reading through the rest of the description and trying to think of how it might be specific to my life, I realized that it's simply describing what I've been spending the last several days realizing is the next "roadblock" I need to face.

My first card - Spirit Dancer - asked me to be both focused and more spontaneous, another seemingly pair of mutually exclusive requests - those rascally faeries! I found that the combination was just the trick to get me moving in the right direction. To get me moving! The third thing Spirit Dancer asked of me was to make my work and intentions more public. I felt as if I hadn't really accomplished that aspect when I first started to feel the need to pull another card at the beginning of this month. But now I think I can say that I've even managed to honor that part of the faeries' request. I've done some art work for other people, I've been in the frequent position of having to introduce myself recently and found myself saying "I'm a photographer" or "I'm an artist" without that flinching feeling of telling an untruth, without that moment's hesitation while I thought about it. I don't think I'm finished with these requests - focus, spontaneity, putting myself out to the public - I think they'll just continue to manifest. I've stuck with them while they've been planted, germinated, made it past the cotyledons, and the first true leaves are started to unfurl. They've had a good start and now it's safe to move on to the requests of another card, knowing that with regular water and care, those first concepts will continue to grow.

The first card having gotten my started, I find myself now brushing up against old issues that have become wrapped around my goals. I've been reluctantly honest with myself, telling myself that I'm not going to be able to get much further until I confront them and find a way to release them. I've been reluctant to deal with it, not wanting to do the hard work (while suspecting that if I can just find the right headspace, it might not be as hard as I fear) and yet I've reached a point where I'm unwilling to continue allowing procrastination to keep me from moving forward. And here comes the Singer of Connections telling me to both reconnect the different aspects of the situation that have been allowed to float away from each other and to let go of those connections who's time has come, which no longer serve their purpose. I so get the "let go" bit.

The other part, about re-forming connections, I'll have to reflect on that one a bit. Maybe, like the last bit of "putting myself out there in the public more" in the first card, this one will become clearer as I work with it for awhile. I do feel as if many of the different aspects of my life have been getting along better recently. There's been less quibbling and whining amongst the many voices. It would be lovely if all the bits and pieces of my life continued to move towards finding more compatible living arrangements with each other. I can see how that would smooth my way forward almost as much as the letting go part.

I had another thought about how connecting and letting go could be just the two sides of a coin that makes up a whole concept.... but now I can't remember what I was gonna say. It's late, my brain is starting to whisper "soft bed....." and there's a bizarre regrowing-a-face skeleton on the television distracting me. (I have no idea - the show I was watching ended, I've got it on mute, just the image.)

I'm going to set up a little creative altar - altars, another thing I've let slip for too long - so I can place the card there and allow the ideas to germinate and grow in the weeks to come. It will be interesting to see what new insights and progress might develop from it.

In other news - Tonight I started in on an idea I've been wanting to do for ages. Didn't get far, but I got started, which is a big thing. I'm so excited. It's something I hope I can get others to get excited about too, to join me in. Maybe I'll post about it tomorrow. I hadn't mentioned it because I don't have the details worked out yet, but now I'm thinking that doesn't matter. It won't stop anyone from starting to play. Stay tuned....

No comments: